ITS OFFICIAL!: New Poll Confirms that Americans Hate High Gas Prices More than Robocalls!

It looks like something has finally surpassed American’s disdain for robocalls–the high prices at the pump.

In a new poll released today by the Hedgehog Research Institute, Americans have made their (dis)pleasure known, and its not even close:

85% of respondents stated that they disliked high gas prices more than robocalls. Only 8% disagreed and found robocalls to be worse. 4% were undecided and 5% stated they don’t know how polls or percentages worked and didn’t want to have any part in our nonsense.

The poll was conducted between March 28 and 31st and–as with most polls–scientifically includes only respondent who actually answered the phone.

Also, the poll was not conducted randomly–as that would have converted the dialing platform used to conduct the poll into an ATDS–and so poll recipients were hand chosen based upon people who filled out forms online.

Relatedly, 5 serial litigants have already filed suit claiming they did not actually provide their consent.

To confirm the poll’s findings the TCPAWorld crew interviewed a few consumers on the street, all of whom seemed to agree with the poll’s findings.

“I’d agree to 10 robocalls a day if I could just get $1.00 off a gallon of gas” Said Bob Marks while standing in a 2 hour line for Costco gas. “I used to think robocalls wasted my time, but this is a waste of time. Thank goodness I have TCPA Today audio renderings of TCPA.World articles to help pass the time.”

Another consumer had similar sentiments.

“When I used to receive robocalls I used to curse the guy out.” Says Molly Mims “Now I ask if he knows where the cheapest gas in my area is.”

A final consumer had this to say: “Czar you’ve helped so much with the robocall epidemic and in stamping out fake lawsuits, can you help us with gas prices too?” Asked Sally Cordoba. “Either way I love reading your easy to read breakdowns of the impossible to understand telecom law here in the United States.”

Congress looks to be acting fast in the face of shifting consumer sentiment. Senator McHenry (I. Ab.) introduced the P.U.M.P.E.D. bill (People are Upset over being Made to Pay for Expensive Diesel and other kinds of gas), which is actually a better named bill than most of the things Congress has come up with lately. The bill promises to cut down on gas prices by forbidding oil companies from setting gas prices using a random or sequential number generator.

Also, basically everything in this article is made up. Probably. Happy April Fool’s day folks!


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