ITS OFFICIAL!!: U.S. President Joe Biden Nominates the Czar for Vacant FCC Commissioner Seat

In a highly-anticipated announcement, U.S. President Joe Biden nominated Telecom Lawyer extraordinaire Eric J. Troutman–better known as the “Czar”– to serve as the fifth Commissioner on the Federal Communications Commission today.

The announcement comes just weeks following President Biden’s former candidate–Gigi Sohn– withdrawing her bid to be nominated as Commissioner.

Troutman, a well-known class action defense attorney who has dedicated his practice to stopping unwanted robocalls and helping companies comply with the Telephone Consumer Protection Act, was a deemed a “perfect fit” for the position by White House correspondent Nota Realperson in a statement this morning announcing the news:

“The Czar is one of the best known and most-trusted voices on telecom legal issues in the U.S., it is only natural that he should bring his talents to the FCC.”

Legislators on both sides of the aisle seemed to agree.

“He’s a centrist candidate. Not a nut. Helps people and businesses alike” said Sen. Ted Cruz (R. Tx.) in a statement “I’m actually shocked this administration came up with someone this well qualified.”

Quasi-Democratic Senator Joe Manchin (W.V.) seemed to agree: “My office is still looking into his background, but at first glance Troutman seems to be just the sort of level-headed pragmatist this country needs helping to assure a free and fair communications infrastructure.”

Troutman’s background as a First Amendment scholar and advocate for free speech also weighed in his favor per a White House Statement:

“Troutman is absolutely dedicated to keeping free speech alive and well in this country, and that’s something folks on both sides of the aisle have to applaud.” Realperson stated.

But not everyone was enthused. The National Consumer Law Center issued a brief and somewhat cryptic statement of their own reading simply: “Ugh.”

For his part Troutman appears set for the Senate nomination process:

“Look, I am honored for the nod and I know Senators on both sides of the aisle are excited to meet the Czar. I’ll make some time for them–take some selfies for them or whatever– but I do want this process to move along quickly. I need to get in there and get some work done.”

Also this is plainly an April Fool’s day joke.


For everybody.

Although my hat is firmly in the ring… let’s see what happens.

Chat soon.


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